When You’ve Been Mishandled: Finding Understanding in the Pain

There’s a certain ache that comes when you realize you’ve been mishandled. Not just misunderstood, but mishandled by people, by systems, even by situations you thought you could trust. It’s that sting of being treated carelessly, like your heart, your dreams, or your presence didn’t matter enough to handle with care.

Being mishandled can look different for everyone. For some, it was a parent who didn’t know how to love properly. For others, a workplace that drained their worth. For many, it’s the friend who used your openness as gossip fuel, or the partner who didn’t see the treasure standing in front of them.

But here’s the truth: being mishandled does not mean you are unworthy of being cherished. It doesn’t mean you deserved it, and it doesn’t mean that’s the only way you will ever be treated. Sometimes, people mishandle you because they’ve never been taught how to hold fragile things. Sometimes, they mishandle you because they are broken themselves.

The understanding comes when you stop asking, “Why did they?” and start asking, “What can I learn about me through this?” Not in a way that blames you, but in a way that restores you. Mishandling can awaken the deep reminder that you are still valuable, still resilient, and still becoming.

So what do you do after being mishandled?

You set boundaries without guilt.

You heal loudly, knowing your wholeness is your protest.

You forgive, not to excuse them, but to release yourself.

And most of all, you allow God to rewrite the narrative. Because when others mishandled you, He never did. He’s still the careful holder of your soul.

If you’ve been mishandled, I want you to remember this: You are not a burden. You are not disposable. You are not too much or too little. You are clay in the hands of a potter who knows exactly how to shape you. And that is the understanding that brings peace.